Bundles Of Joy From Small Towns !!!

Swati Deshpande

THE TIMES OF INDIA

April 2008

With Long Waiting Periods For Adoption At City Centres, People Are Looking At Non-Metro Destinations To Bring Home Kids

Mumbai: Wardha, a small town with a predominantly rural population, would normally have been nowhere on the radar of a ubercool Mumbai couple. But it turned out to be a wish-fulfilling destination for Shirley and Shivkumar Menon who went there and returned with Jiya, a 13-month-old baby from adoption agency Takshashila.

In what is turning out to be a heartwarming trend, city couples and even single women are turning towards smaller towns and rural adoption centres to avoid the long waiting period at city centres. The efficiency of the agencies there ensures the added advantage of a fast-track adoption.

When Shirley, in her late 30s, was advised by her gynaecologist to opt for adoption, she and her husband approached several agencies in Mumbai right after their marriage. Everywhere, they were politely informed that there was a waiting list for infants. “We were told it could take up to two and a half years, and that we were not married long enough,’’ says Shirley. In Thane, another young couple, software professional Rajendra (35) and Mita (33) Rane, though married for six years, were also put on a year-long waiting list when they expressed their desire to adopt from agencies in Mumbai or even Pune.

Both couples were disheartened till they met the Pune-based Bharti Das Gupta who in 2002 had founded a voluntary body called Catalysts for Social Action (CSA). This proved to be the turning point for them, as it did for 48 other adoptive parents from cities like Mumbai, Bangalore and Chennai, in the last 15 months.

“CSA put us in touch with Wardha last August. They did a thorough check on us. The paperwork went smoothly, and Jiya came home with us in February. We were overjoyed when we found the smaller city option. They were meticulous and excellent in every way,’’ say Shirley and Shivkumar almost in unison, adding that their desire was so great that they didn’t think twice when told of the Wardha option. “In any case it doesn’t matter where you adopt the child from,” they say. The only hitch, they say, is that the judicial paperwork has to be done in a court there, and this is likely to necessitate several trips to Wardha till the court passes an order.

The Ranes wanted a baby girl and adopted six month old Rajita from Latur’s Bal Vikas. “We tried several agencies in Mumbai and Navi Mumbai and were told there would be a long waiting period,’’ they say. A chance reference to Dasgupta set things rolling. “She told us it might be faster if we went to a remote place. It was. We did a lot of documentation over the internet, but the agency was thorough. In less than six months, our daughter was home. We adopted under the Hindu Adoption and Maintenance Act. Once every month we have to send a report on the baby’s health and well being. Our life has completely changed and has a new, more beautiful, purpose now.’’

According to statistics put out by CARA (Central Adoption Resource Agency), the nodal agency for adoptions in India, adoptions have dropped from 3,831 in 2001 to 3,148 in 2007 across India (including both domestic and international adoptions). True, these figures reflect only the CARA agencies; however, the overall adoption figures could be only marginally more. Meanwhile, India has over 12 million orphans who have nowhere to go.

Bharti Dasgupta, who began CSA, says the idea was to create awareness and facilitate and promote adoption. “Several parents who want to adopt wait for years in metro agencies for their baby to arrive,’’ she says. “On the other hand, larger numbers of children wait endlessly for a home in non-metro agencies, finding their way finally into an orphanage/institution where the rehabilitation outcome is marginal.’’ (According to guidelines, orphans in adoption agencies who don’t get adopted by the age of six can be transferred to orphanages.) “We at CSA would like to believe that if we focus on older children and try to get them an adoptive parent, it may just be possible,’’ Dasgupta told TOI. A grandmother in her mid-60s, Dasgupta has the zest for change and the energy of a 16-year-old. The NGO began when her daughter and son-in-law Vipul Jain, a senior corporate executive, adopted two children.

CSA works with a cluster of 19 government-registered agencies in rural Maharashtra and Orissa.

“The success is encouraging,’’ smiles Dasgupta. But the battle has been uphill. “City parents are usually reluctant to go to non-city agencies and express concerns about health and background.’’ She noted this when in August 2006 she began with a pilot project for adoption in the Latur and Marathwada areas. Hoardings on the expressway gave results, and parents from not just Mumbai, but even Pune, Delhi and Bangalore lined up willing to adopt from smaller centres.

Suja Warrier, a single IT professional, adopted a four-and-half year-old from Latur. Both adoptive mother and child are extremely happy now. The little girl then used to speak only Marathi but now speaks rapid-fire Malayalam. Now Kolkata couples are expressing an interest in adopting from semi-urban centres.

For metro couples, going to smaller centres may mean more effort, but the returns more than make up.

Advice for potential adoptive parents

Be meticulous about handing over the necessary papers for processing. It may be tedious but it is in the interest of the baby.

Adoptive agencies advise you to wait till your marriage completes five years, so present your case properly if it’s different, especially when it is a second marriage for both. Waiting for five years is unrealistic.

Prepare for the baby’s arrival in terms of clothes, toiletries etc. Be prepared to travel four to five times to the place you are adopting from to complete preand post-adoption formalities. This can be timeconsuming, expensive and very inconvenient for the baby but will have to be done.

Catalysts for Social Action (CSA)

Website www.csa.org.in

Phone: 020-66083777

CSA provides information on the agency as well as the number of waiting children and their age and sex. A prospective parent can contact an agency directly or seek CSA facilitation. Fifty placements have been facilitated in a span of 15 months with parents from Mumbai, Bangalore, Chennai and Delhi going to Latur, Udgir Nanded, Wardha and even Kalahandi. CSA has also been working with four government destitute homes in Maharashtra and an orphanage in Orissa, assisting them in building better vocational training facilities with funds from corporate houses and funding from Give India.

The laws that govern adoption THE HINDU ADOPTION AND MAINTENANCE ACT (HAMA)

The only codified law available for adoption in India for Hindus, is THE HINDU ADOPTION AND MAINTENANCE ACT (HAMA)


This Act came into force in 1956 and is applicable to: Any person who is a Hindu by religion in any of its forms or development. Any person who is a Buddhist, Jain or Sikh. Any person who is not a Muslim, Christian, Parsi or Jew. Any child, legitimate or illegitimate, whose parents are Hindus, Buddhists, Jains or Sikhs. Any child, legitimate or illegitimate, one of whose parents are Hindus, Buddhists, Jains or Sikhs and has been so brought up. Any abandoned child, legitimate or illegitimate of unknown parentage brought up as a Hindu, Buddhist etc. Any person who is a convert to the Hindu, Buddhist, Jain or Sikh religion.




YOU CAN ADOPT IF You are a Hindu male, over 21 years, single and of sound mind. You are a married Hindu male, but only with the consent of the wife. You are a female Hindu of sound mind and single, viz either unmarried, widowed or divorced.



WHO YOU CAN ADOPT A son—if you do not have a biological son, grandson or great-grandson. A daughter—if you do not have a biological daughter or a son’s daughter. The adopted child enjoys all the rights of the biological child.



THE JUVENILE JUSTICE (CARE AND PROTECTION OF CHILDREN) AMENDMENT ACT, 2006 Allows for adoption of children who are orphaned, abandoned or surrendered Allows adults, irrespective of their marital status and irrespective of the number of living biological children they have, from any community to adopt; Doesn’t restrict it to Hindus. However, the Act has yet to be used widely. Children will be given in adoption by a court after the latter is satisfied that all investigations have been carried out as required



A WISH FULFILLED: The Ranes adopted sixmonth-old Rajita from Latur




(Source: http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/ml.asp?Ref=VE9JTS8yMDA4LzA0LzE1I0FyMDA0MDA=&Mode=HTML&Locale=english-skin-custom )

Adoption still a long wait for special children.

Express News Service

November 2009

(Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/48/20091110/804/tnl-adoption-still-a-long-wait-for-speci.html?printer=1 )

To sensitise people to the issue of adopting children with special needs, the Indian Medical Association (IMA) and Cycle Pratishthan will conduct a bicycle rally in the city on November 8.

The numbers have been increasing over the years of people wanting to adopt children, but there are very few who want to take care of a child with special needs. While the Society of Friends of Sassoon Hospital (SOFOSH) has planned a series of events to highlight the problem during the Adoption week (November 14-21), Madhuri Abhyankar, Director at SOFOSH admits that there are 28 children who are mentally challenged and with special needs who have not been placed for adoption yet. On the other hand, over the past year there has been an increase in the number of people who have adopted children from their centre.

Seventy one children were adopted in 2004, 76 in 2005, 97 in 2006, 81 in 2007 and 69 in 2008. This year nine NRI couples have adopted children and five are foreigners.

It is also not infertility that is among the primary reason for adoption of children. Says B V Sivaramakrishna, ''My daughter who stays in USA has adopted a 13-month-old baby girl from SOFOSH. She is only 33 but decided to first adopt a child before planning her own,''says the Sivaramakrishna.

For Dr Sonali Pingale, adopting her 'first' child never really posed a problem. ''There was a lot of paper work and several questions that were asked about the financial and emotional well being of the adopted child.

But two years after she adopted a girl child, Pingale even went ahead and had a biological child so that the children can grow up as siblings and 'we can be a large family', she smiles. A child who has been adopted told The Indian Express on the condition of anonymity that it does take a while to accept that he or she has been adopted. ''Our lives are complicated but parents assure us of their love and trust,''says an 18-year-old girl who has been adopted.

Pingale will be among several parents who have adopted children with special needs and will narrate their experiences at a function to be conducted by SOFOSH at the IMA hall at Tilak Road.

Eligibility criteria for prospective adoptive parents

Here are some of the criteria for PAPs (Prospective Adoptive Parents)

1. Prospective adoptive parents having composite age of 90 years and less and where neither
parent has crossed 45 years can be considered for adoption of Indian children. The age criterion
may be suitably relaxed in exceptional cases for reasons clearly stated in the Home Study Report. However, in no case should the age of the prospective adoptive parent(s) exceed 55 years.

2. In case of special needs children with medical problems, the age limit of adoptive parent(s)
may be relaxed by concerned state government.

3. The prospective parent(s) should have a regular source of income with a minimum average
monthly income of at least Rs.3000/- per month. However, lower income will be considered taking into account other assets and support system i.e. own house etc.

For more details, check http://www.adoptionindia.nic.in/

Steps Involved In Adoption.

1. First, the prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) should register with the local licensed adoption agency or adoption coordinating agency and their interest in adoption is ascertained at this stage.

2. A home study of the PAPs is conducted by the social worker of the agency. To ease the fears and apprehensions of PAPs, pre-adoptive counseling sessions are undertaken by the social worker. For the social worker, assessing the ability of the couple to parent a child not born to them is of crucial importance. Therefore, the couple’s suitability to care for an unrelated child is ensured through this home study.

3. After the initial survey, PAPs should submit documents related to their financial and health status to the agency.

4. A child is then shown to the parents. If desired by the parents, the agency takes care to match a child meeting the desired description.

5. The agency files a petition for obtaining the necessary orders under relevant act once a successful matching has been done. In some cases, the child may also be placed in pre-adoption foster care with adoptive parents.

6. Fees, as prescribed by the government, will be charged by the licensed adoption agency for maintenance and legal cost.

The above process is normally completed in 6-8 weeks once the child has been matched with the parents. There are regular follow-up visits and post-adoption counseling by the social worker till the child adjusts in his/her new environment.

Please check http://www.adoptionindia.nic.in/ for more details.

Adoption - Alternative Parenthood

Parenthood is parenthood, no matter by what mode it is achieved. Becoming parents biologically or by adoption are two unique experiences. The process of adoption might take one through a gamut of emotions ranging from intense hurt and grief to inexpressible joy. Coping with these feelings is a difficult task and a challenge that must be met. A successful adoption needs open communication, acceptance, and a supportive environment in which one can discuss adopting a child as a viable alternative means of achieving parenthood. The decision to adopt is fraught with many apprehensions. As a 'childless' couple, it may be extremely hard to decide to accept an unrelated child into your family.

At the same time, you might be experiencing a craving for parenthood to fill what you perceive as a void in your lives. A common reason that might lead a couple to consider adoption is their involuntary childlessness - a condition that gives rise to a complex of emotions for the two individuals involved. These emotions have their roots in the fundamental human need and desire for parenthood. Other motivation to adopt could be a desire to give a home to a child who needs one, wanting a child of the other sex, advanced age and the possibility of genetic problems in one's biological child.

Infertility is most often seen only as a medical problem, but such a viewpoint overlooks the emotional and psychosocial aspects, which are probably more important to the couple. Most couples simply assume that conceiving, childbearing and giving birth are matters of choice and an inevitable outcome of a marriage. Hence, an inability to conceive or to take a pregnancy to full term is an unexpected and traumatic shock.

Parenthood is thought of as an integral stage in life that goes hand in hand with being married. When you cannot have biological children, and when you think you might miss out on the experience of parenting, you may experience a void in your life.

The hardest part of being infertile is coming to terms with the fact that there is some physical problem which is coming in the way of childbearing and that no amount of medical intervention can successfully change this. This realisation may lead to feelings of loss, inadequacy and low self esteem in some parents. One might experience denial, guilt, depression, frustration and a sense of helplessness. In the Indian context, infertility has negative connotations. Particularly among traditional society and lower socio-economic groups, a woman who does not produce biological children faces social ostracism; threats of divorce, and the husband are pressured to remarry. Infertility shows that in 40% of the cases the man is the cause, in another 40% it is the woman, and the couple share the problem in the remaining 20%. Still ignorance leads society to most often hold the woman responsible for childlessness.

When a couple resolves their crisis of infertility only then can they channel their energy into deciding to adopt a child. A way to resolve this crisis is for one to view and accept childlessness or infertility as a shared loss. Doing so will let you look ahead and explore your alternatives constructively. Articulating your feelings and discussing the issues facilitates the process of acceptance. Before one decides to adopt, you must resolve satisfactorily all the issues relating to your infertility as a couple. If not, there is the risk that your adopted child will be a constant reminder of your own inability to have biological children. But by reframing or redefining the problem one can find an alternative mode of achieving parenthood - namely ADOPTION.

Source: http://www.indiadoption.com/

Deciding the child

"Adoption is when a child grew in its mommy's heart instead of her tummy."

The process of deciding which child to adopt is termed as "choosing". This does not mean that the couple chooses one child & rejects the other. An adoptive parent should always think that even the biological child is not exactly of anybody's expectation. The choosing process may turn out to be emotionally traumatic for a child. An adoptive parent may select a child who is fairly normal, healthy, with remedial & treatable medical problems.

Looking at the Indian Socio-cultural context, the adoptive agencies try to provide as much support as they can for the sake of the adopted child's acceptance & integration into the family.

During the Home Study process, an adoptive parent may discuss with the social worker a profile of the child that they have in mind. The social worker tries her best to locate a baby that matches the expectations.

Adoptive parents should always keep in mind that children in adoption centers may not be the bouncing, bonny babies. They may have born underweight as a result of poor pre-natal care, malnutrition & undernourishment of the biological mother. With proper care & love, the child soon blossoms into good health.

Agencies normally do a complete medical screening of the baby before refering to the parents. The adoptive parents are recommended to visit their own pediatrician to reassure themselves that the baby has no congenital or medical problems.

Source: http://www.indiadoption.com/

Difference between an Orphanage and an Adoption Agency

As explained by Mr. Ruby Nakka from India Adoption Blog:

It is the child who has no family of any sort (an orphan) is to be placed in adoption but till such adoption takes place, dwelling of an orphan is called "Orphanage". So it is logical to think that people should go to orphanage to adopt a child. Well…. it is a huge misconception that many people believe in. Read on to understand the difference between an orphanage and an adoption agency.

Orphanages and adoption agencies are two distinct places working with two different objectives. Orphanages (now under a new law in India called "Juvenile & Justice Act" or JJ Act they are to be called as "Children's Homes") are places where they provide care and protection to a child who needs them. These could be taking care of orphans but not necessarily those that have no family of any sort. For example, a child may have lost his/ her parents but may have extended family who is unable/ unwilling to provide the needed care and protection to the child. As long as the child has a family of some sort (although they are unable to care), they are not free for adoption. Orphanages cannot house a child who has no family of any sort

Adoption agencies or placement agencies are places that exclusively deal with placing an orphan child in adoption. For example, if a child is found abandoned in a railway station, once the government makes a determination that the child is abandoned, they are not sent to an orphanage but to an adoption agency. Adoption agency will take the child through several legal steps to declare free for adoption before they actually place them in a home through adoption. The state government normally licenses adoption agencies after they meet certain guidelines.

In Tamilnadu, any new adoption agency is licensed only after they maintain a children's home (or orphanage) for minimum of three years. In this case, you might see an adoption agency and an orphanage working together in one location or in two different locations. This is required because once the efforts to place a child in adoption are exhausted, the child can be sent to an orphanage for continued care and protection.

Remember: If you or anyone that you know of looking to adopt, the place to visit is not an orphanage but an adoption agency or a placement agency.